The Future Thought Contemplation
by giggly kitkats
Summary: Fanfic based on this prompt sent to me on Tumblr by shamy-love-child: Sheldon sitting in his workplace at home and holding the ring, thinking what could have happened if he proposed to her in an earlier time, and did things with her frequently like walking in parks or just spending time with her.


Leonard hovered by the door. Whilst he'd rather be anywhere than here, soaking up the solemn atmosphere that had descended on the apartment since the events of a week ago, he was also seriously concerned about his best buddy.

"Sheldon, are you sure you're alright?" Leonard watched from afar as Sheldon continued to stare past the screen of his laptop, pretending to be engrossed in his work. In the past Leonard would have thought nothing of Sheldon's immersion in academia. In fact it was at the very core of his personality. However, since Amy had asked for some space, Sheldon had become distant to the point of becoming disturbing. Leonard knew what 'work-mode' Sheldon was like, and this wasn't it. He refused to talk, except for the odd formality, and had barely eaten. He just spent all day at his desk working, without anything to show for it.

"What?" Sheldon seemed to come back into the room from whatever distant land his mind had wandered to. "Yes, Leonard I'm fine. Please stop your incessant mollycoddling and let me get on with my work"

"Okay, buddy. I'll be at Penny's if you need me" Leonard let out a frustrated sigh as he left the room.

As soon as Sheldon heard the door click into place beside him, he sat back on his chair and squeezed his eyes shut. What was happening to him? He could always, always find solace in his work. Physics was his everything and yet, though he wouldn't admit it to his friends, all he could think about was Amy.

It had taken a huge concerted effort to obey her wishes and not contact her. Amy had somehow wormed her way into his life over the past few years. Slowly and surely she became part of his routine. More than that, if he was being honest. She was a part of who he was now and he wanted her to be, forever.

At this, Sheldon slid open his desk draw and pulled out the small box that concealed his greatest secret. He was going to propose to Amy Farrah Fowler. He was going to make her his wife. So where did it all go wrong? Why was this ring still hidden in this box, in this draw and not on her finger? If only he had acted on his instincts earlier. That he wanted to grab hold of Amy and never let go. Maybe he had always known, yet he taken so much time to convince. What if it was now too late?

He took the ring out of its box and rolled it around in his palm. As he did so he pondered over recent events. When he had told her he was going to Mars. Not even then had he included her in his future plans. How could he be so stupid? He could not survive the perils of Mars without Amy by his side and nor would he want to. He should have told her then that he didn't want to spend another day without her.

He continued to play with the ring in his hand. What about when she stayed for their sleepover. He should have told her then that he didn't want her to leave, not just for that evening, he now couldn't imagine her ever leaving. Yet, when the morning came round he froze and she turned to leave. The old Sheldon was too ingrained. How could he tell her after one night in her company that he never wanted her to leave him again?

Sheldon felt hollow inside. Despite how he awful he had sometimes been to his Amy, she had seen past the surface. Not many had taken the time to see the worth hiding beneath his antagonistic exterior.

His thoughts went to the relationship agreement. Constantly tying them down. Now all he wanted was a contract which tied them together. He imagined all the walks through the park where he should have held her hand. All the moments he should have comforted her in the form of a hug. Kissed her, not because it was in a contract, but because of the cold hard truth. He wanted to. Wow, when had that happened? He could never be sure when. He could never be sure when he started wanting to kiss her, when he had started loving her or when he had decided he never wanted to be apart from her. It had all crept up on him. Slowly knocking down his walls till there were no barriers left. He could almost hear the knocking now….knock, knock, knock Sheldon. It only occurred to him too late that the knocking was real. It was coming from the door to his apartment. Before he had time to register it, the door to the apartment had already flung open and there stood Amy. His Amy.

It felt like a life time since he had last seen her. She looked exactly how he remembered her. Her poker straight hair framed her face as usual. He glasses sat on her nose as usual. Only when he looked past the frames to her eyes she looked weary and hopeless. He had done that. But she was here.

He came to himself. "Amy? You're here."

"Sheldon. I can't stand this one more second. I needed to see you. I wanted to explain…" Amy's eyes floated down to Sheldon's hands and lingered on the ring that was held there. "Sheldon?" she said breathlessly.

Sheldon felt a momentary stab of panic. She had noticed the ring. There was no turning back now. This was the moment. There was so much he wanted to say and yet, this was the best way to say it. The panic subsided when the pair finally locked eyes. He now knew. This was all he wanted. His future was Amy, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

He gently lifted himself from his seat and strode to the door where she still stood, suspended in shock. Tears prickled the corners of both of their eyes. Sheldon bent down on one knee….


End file.
